Tossing and Turning

I hate going to bed. Probably because I can’t stand to be alone with my own thoughts. When I found out there were people out there, like my husband, who can fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow I was in complete shock. Bed for me usually means thinking/overthinking and also worrying about everything, even things from years past. With it comes the tossing and turning as well. I do better now but it used to routinely take me two hours to fall asleep. It didn’t matter if I ate earlier, worked out, etc. The problem was the constant thought process torturing me as I lay awake. I am much better now and can usually fall asleep within 15 minutes, but not always and it has taken a lot of work. Part of the “fix” is that I intentionally go to bed late, but it’s not really a great solution when it comes to getting up for work. At this point I’m not working as much so it’s manageable but I still feel like I need a better solution. Maybe one day I’ll find a proper balance but this seems to be working better than any other solution I’ve tried. I also try to power down before bed. I will read and journal before trying to fall asleep. It has helped a lot, except, it’s part of the reason why I end up going to bed so late. Another thing that has helped is meditation or calming sounds as I try to sleep. I just feel bad because I don’t want to wake my husband who goes to bed before me. I’ll just keep trying new things and working towards finding that balance, eventually it’ll come. Either that or we’ll have kids one day and I won’t have a choice but to be a morning person!

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