I read an article yesterday written by a parent who was looking back on an event from her own childhood. It was about a comment her mom had made to her that she looked stupid when she was laughing on her bed. I have Included a link to the article below.
I, of course, regret reading the comments on social media which is what really enraged me. There were people commenting about millennials and others saying this person is just too sensitive, going on and on about why this generation is so terrible. First off, I’m not convinced the writer is even a millennial but what do I know and really what does it even matter? Second, I don’t think it has anything to do with being too sensitive. I wounder if these people criticizing her have ever had this happen to them to make them such “experts” on the subject. It’s one thing to hear from a friend or peer, which can also be hurtful, but a whole nother thing to hear this said from your parent. A parent is someone you look up to and you believe is there to help guide you through life.
“…you assume everything they tell you is the truth…”
As a child you don’t know any different and you assume everything they tell you is the truth and that by telling you they are trying to help you. I still remember my mom telling me I had a double chin and that I needed to watch/be careful of. I was in the 4th grade, we had just commuted the hour to school with my brothers and we were running close to time as usual. She made this comment to me just as I was getting out of the car. I didn’t have time before class, but as soon as I got the chance to excuse myself to the bathroom I did. I still remember running into the bathroom at school just to stare at myself in the mirror. I didn’t understand how I could be getting a double chin if I was the skinny kid with the bony butt. I continued to stand there staring wondering what I could do about it. Even to this day I can’t help but look into the mirror and be concerned, some 10 years later. I used to bring it up to my husband back in high school when we were dating and he couldn’t understand where I could’ve gotten this idea from. I also often worry about it while taking pictures and try to find the perfect way to angle my chin so it doesn’t show. I don’t think I’m being too sensitive, I now know my mom was completely wrong for saying such a thing.
“It just seemed like fact to me”
It is just so ingrained in me because I thought it was true at such a young age and for so many years it just seemed like fact to me. As an adult I have confronted my mom about it but she denies ever saying anything like that, she said she’s sorry if she ever did but can’t imagine that she would make a comment like that. It’s not as if I’d make something like that up just to feel insecure about myself for the rest of my life. Not really the apology I was hoping for but I think just confronting it was all I really needed. I wish I could say I moved on but obviously it still bothers me to this day.