From High School to Now

Well yesterday was frustrating to say the least. I feel like my brother-in-law wants/expects us to be close but I just don’t think we ever will be. It’s how I feel with everyone in his family, we are just so different it’s impossible. We are never on the same page, they never understand what I’m trying to say, and I will always feel like an outsider. I have accepted this but my brother-in-law seems oblivious to this fact. He even commented to my husband that he felt like he knows me so well. I am very thankful for my husband letting him know that he really doesn’t know me at all. Since we all went to high school together I feel like he thinks I’m the same person. Not only have I changed since then but I also feel like I was living a lie those years. Trying desperately to keep my dad’s alcohol and drug abuse a secret while looking like I had the perfect family. One of the things my brother-in-law brought up was a show he thought I would really enjoy, especially this one character that is always drunk. Even listening to him talk brought up awful memories for me and letting him know I wouldn’t be interested left me bulldozed with “trust me you’d like it.” The hurt and the pain was indescribable. But while our time together left me feeling incredibly frustrated, it also helped open my eyes about my wonderful husband. Of course we have good days and bad but interacting with his brother has reminded me how far we’ve come. While my husband and his brother are very different, they are also very similar. The way his brother was talking, acting and attempting to interact with me reminded me a lot of when my husband and I first stated dating in high school. Very clueless. It is amazing how our relationship has grown and all of the changes my husband has made to help further our love. Since we’ve grown together sometimes it can be hard to remember where you came from and how things started. I know he has learned a lot and been willing to adapt to help form our marriage. Communication continues to be a struggle for him, as well as with everyone in his family, but he has come so far. I know it’s only because of how much he loves me that he works so hard on being such a great husband. I know I have grown and changed a lot as well and I can only hope that he feels the same about me.

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