Christmas stress is upon us

Now that one holiday is done it’s onto the next, and the stress has already begun. I was talking with my mom the other day and of course she brought up Christmas. The problem was how she brought it up, though. I don’t remember her exact words but basically, “well when you guys get here” or something of the such. What she said made me feel so strong that I cut her off and replied with, “no we’re not doing that, we are not driving down there on Christmas day.” This caught her off guard because clearly she had already assumed we’d be coming over, even though she never once asked us what our plans were. We are not going to sit in traffic all day on Christmas, it’s just not worth it. It’s a two hour drive each way on a good day! Could you imagine on Christmas day with traffic? No thank you. Especially to go see a family that I barely feel a part of. I just hate that she had assumed we’d be home just because we live closer now. We haven’t spent Christmas with them for the last 2 years so she really should’ve asked. I let her know that maybe we could plan on celebrating with the family another day instead; so we can still get together but we won’t have to fight the holiday traffic. She then tried to make a plea for us to at least go to my grandma’s house on Christmas day; which is what my family usually does for the evening and to be fair it is closer to us. I’d love to see my grandma but most of my extended family doesn’t even go anymore so again I’m not sure it’s worth all the trouble. Besides I know my parents will want to do gifts with us at my grandma’s since we’re not going to their house, and it makes me very uncomfortable. No one does gifts at my grandma’s house because it’s more of a hang out and eat type of gathering so to me doing gifts in front of everyone would be awkward. Perhaps my mom is having a hard time this year because my brother moved away so he won’t be home for Christmas either, but I really do think she would’ve acted the same way even if my brother was going to be here. She always tries to make me feel guilty and manipulate me to get her way because sadly it usually works. Well, with the support of my husband, I am trying to stay strong this year. The last 2 years I didn’t have a choice due to work/school so since we liver closer and I’m not working as much, I know she is going to continue to push hard to get what she wants. Hopefully we can set-up a date before Christmas so that everyone is happy, but I highly doubt that will get her off my back about going to my grandma’s. I just wish the holidays were fun instead of so stressful.

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