Walking on Eggshells

There is so much for me to do with my upcoming interviews and training program. I have a lot that I need to study in order to be prepared. This week has been tough to stay motivated though. While I have been able to accomplish more tasks than I anticipated, I can’t seem to do anything that requires focus. I have been in such a funk from seeing and talking with my family earlier in the week which has only continued with the stress of having to see them again this upcoming weekend. It’s all I can think about. I need to get my story straight about what I’m doing, basically reminding myself how much to share and what to leave out. Plus remembering how to act and attempting to anticipate how things might go. So many thoughts and worries running through my head. When my brother previously disowned me and attempted to completely cut me out of the family, I can pinpoint the falling out to two events. Two events! Out of our whole lives together. I’m sure it was much more than that but those were the escalating factors. Now I feel like I need to walk on eggshells anytime there is a family gathering for fear of accidentally causing another uproar. I don’t have the time, energy or emotional strength for that again. I just hope it goes well and can’t wait for it to be over so I can focus on my life and happiness again.

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