The Day my World Stopped

This weekend my dad went on a trip with some of his old classmates. I have been waiting for this to have a big impact on me but so far I don’t think it has quite hit me yet. About four years ago I received a call from my parents telling me they were planning on getting divorced, which in the long run ended up not happening. They called me the weekend before my midterms started during my second year of professional school. My brother was also in professional school at the time and I asked if they had told him yet and let them know my concern with his midterms. They responded that they had called him but had made sure he was finished with his midterms before breaking the news. Of course they asked me no such thing and didn’t seem to care that they had let me know right before my midterms started. The news of divorce wasn’t too surprising though since they had been struggling for years. That weekend my dad was going on this same trip with his old classmates. The day of my first midterm I received a phone call from my mom telling me that my dad had been arrested and was currently in jail. This phone call almost ruined my career. It almost took away everything I had worked so hard for; my dream since a child. I powered through midterms while trying to carry my mom emotionally. She called constantly and talked for hours at a time. This went on for weeks and my dad ended up going to rehab. I didn’t talk to anyone at school about what was going on because growing up we had always been told to keep quiet about my dad’s problem so it wouldn’t hurt his business; something I now understand to have been selfish and enabling. I was in pain and struggling but kept it all inside. Everything eventually took it’s toll and by the time finals came around I didn’t have any energy left to give. I fell into a deep depression and not surprisingly I didn’t do very well on my exams. All of which almost ended my dreams for my career. I ended up having to talk to the school and let them know what was going on. Reliving the entirely painful experience. As difficult as it was, it felt so good to tell someone. After those emotionally exhausting months I knew things had to change. I took time for myself to focus on school and didn’t speak to my family for about five months. I am so proud of myself for putting my foot down and focusing on what I needed to do for me. I had my wonderful husband’s support who dealt with my family for me. I would have never survived had it not been for him. And now I can’t believe my dad is still making these trips after what he did to us and all of the bad memories of what he put our family through. It’s just another reminder of how little things have changed with them. All I can do is keep living my life and not allowing them to hold me back. I have my own life and my own family that deserves my attention and care, which includes myself.

Advertisements

One thought on “The Day my World Stopped

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s