First Step

I had a phone interview today and I was very nervous about it because my last job made me feel so inadequate. To be fair I knew my last job wasn’t the right choice, especially for my first job since graduating. I had better offers but ended up taking the job because my husband had better opportunities in the area. He was sweet enough to put his career on hold while I was in school so I wanted to help support him now. Since I was in no position to negotiate, the pay was low and the hours were long. To me that wasn’t even the problem. The problem was I didn’t feel supported. I was often thrown into things and the guidance I received only confused me and made me doubt myself. If I wanted to do something they would tell me that that’s not how they would do it. Which made me feel like the way I wanted to do it was wrong. At times there were things that I was blamed for that I didn’t feel were my fault and even if they were I feel like they could’ve been turned into teachable moments instead. I could also tell that some of the staff had no respect for me which often meant I was on my own. Because of my childhood I have never been a very confident person but this experience shattered what little there was left. It is the reason why it has taken me so long to try and find another job. I have taken this time to study and help build my confidence again but I still fear that I’m not ready or not good enough. I know I need to get back on the horse so that the fear doesn’t stay with me forever. So here’s to taking the first step. If I fail that’s okay too because there will always be another opportunity.

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